Elise would be 3, she should be putting her own ornaments on. Instead it is up to one of us to do it.
This is an ornament I received from the hospital where she was born at their
October 15 Celebration in 2009. I wrote her name on it
I had this ornament made with her birth stats. Every baby needs one of these!
This one is of an angel on a cloud.
We all have balls with our names and birth year on them...
This is our family ornament...
Of course she has a stocking also. Her's contains a book about Angels and
letters that I write to her every year.
The holidays are always so bittersweet. I find myself enjoying them more and more each year, which often times turns into guilt, that I'm not missing her enough, but I know that is all in my head. I miss her every single day. There are points in time that the grief is overwhelming and then there are times when her memory brings me great pride and happiness. But I think it is those moments when I catch myself enjoying something, like decorating the tree, and am not actively thinking of her until something reminds me that it hits me hard.
If I've learned nothing else over the last 3 years, it is to allow myself to feel what I do without judgement. This journey I am on is mine alone. Others have walked a similar path and can relate, others have not and can not. Many walk beside me with love and support, but in the end, it is all on me and I must allow the emotions that come to do so without interference and move through them. I am learning each day how to embrace some of them and let go of others, but it is still something I struggle with.
I started writing this the night we did it, obviously, but the words were not coming, so I had to put it aside for a while (as I do with many posts, unfortunately) During this time I had our Christmas Cards made and I thought I'd share that with you as well...
