A Baby Grows Her Wings

I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday...cliche', I know, but I do.  Strange thing is, it feels like a lifetime ago all at the same time. 
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I had a playdate scheduled at my house that morning.  My husband was checking car seats for anyone who wanted it and we had an egg hunt in the back yard for the kids.

It was the day after Danielle's birthday, so we had a chocolate cake for her.  Everything was normal.  I remember being tired and uncomfortable, but not much more so than usual.  The rest of the day progressed without incident...lunch, naps, hanging out...but at some point that day something happened to Elise.  I still don't know if it was the cord around her neck that killed her or the knot in it, but one of those took her little life that day. 
I didn't feel any frantic movement or have any sort of intuition that something was wrong.  That part haunts me to this day.  How could I not know?  How could I not realize she stopped moving?  I don't get it.  It is only because of her condition that we know she died on this day.  I t will be another 2 days before I find out and hold my angel for the first and last time.

Meanwhile, I didn't know at the time, but there was another mother delivering her own sleeping angel this morning.  It wasn't until I posted about loosing Elise on a babywearing forum that I frequented that she contacted me offering support and understanding.  Baby Joey, I am so sorry that you did not get to live in our physical world, but I am confident that you know just how special you and your mother both are and how you have both touched my life.  I love you Katherine and I wish we didn't meet the way we did, but I am so glad Elise has Joey to play with in Heaven!