A Miracle for Madison

I don't usually post this kind of stuff, but this little girl and her family could use all the prayers she can get.  I barely know her, but I do and I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through.  For her to be "fine" one day and then being checked for brain activity the next is horrific!  Please, take a moment and say a prayer for them, if you do that sort of thing.  And when you check out the link below, don't look at it as another request for money, that is not why I am sharing it, but look at all the people who are coming together to support this family during this trying time.  Many do not even know this sweet girl or her family.  Though I sometimes wonder, this is proof that humanity has not lost all it's compassion.  It is a great reminder for us all that the world does care and that, as we all know, life is short, you gotta make it count!  Thanks for reading...
http://www.gofundme.com/25odkg?pc=fb_cr

Just 2 days after being diagnosed with Leukemia, it was determined that Maddie's brain had no activity and the next day she took her last breath here on earth.  Please continue to keep her family and friends in your thoughts.
 

Why I blog

I was talking with another mama the other day about why I blog.  Is it for me or for others?  What do I get from it?  What do I hope others get from it?

In my very first post on the blog, I said that I was "creating a written tribute to my sweet angel"  That is how it started, the blogging part anyway.  Before that, came all the Facebook posts though.  Those were more for information.  People wanted to know how Elise died, but who wants to ask someone that?  So I posted it.  That way people didn't have to ask.  Then I shared songs, poems, other pieces of writings others have shared to try to explain how I was feeling.  Every once in a while, I would throw in my own thoughts, but it was mostly words borrowed from others, again, just trying to share what I was going through.
Then I caught up to real time and was able to focus more on my own words.  My words to Elise and about Elise.  My words about me and how I was feeling.  But why?  Why was I doing this?  To journal my thoughts, yes, I needed an outlet to get it all out, everything I was thinking and feeling.  But why not in a notebook or in a Word Document, why online?  In a word, understanding.  My hope was, is, to create understanding among people.  People who have not experienced a loss, what it is like, and people who have to know that someone out there does understand what they are thinking and feeling.
Putting myself out there like this, is a double edged sword.  I have had countless people tell me that my willingness to speak up about my loss has made them more comfortable to also speak up or just deal with their own loss in general.  Then there are those who use my words against me or as an opportunity to twist them to their own advantage.  I have never been anything but honest, with myself and my readers, and I am truly grateful for those who choose to walk this path with me in understanding, whatever their underlying motives are.  I know some do it to support me, some to support themselves and I am humbled by both!  I blog for me and for you.  I get to release my feelings and I get to help others understand.  I get to keep my angel alive, if only through memory!  I wish I was able to do so more regularly and with slightly less trepidation and slightly better mechanics, but it is what it is and I'll take it!  I do it all in Elise's Honor!
Thanks for reading and remembering my Sweet Elise! :)

Elise's Birthday Bingo!

I announced the details on Facebook less than 2 weeks ago and have already sold out over half of the event!  I am so humbled by the support from friends and family!  Here are the details if you would like to attend or donate (or help with soliciting donations! :))

Join us to celebrate Elise's 4th Birthday with a BINGO benefiting ChesapeakeMommies.com, a local mom's group in Harford and Cecil Counties that has been of tremendous support to me during and since Elise's death.

Bingo will be held at the Bel Air American Legion Post #55,
115 N Bond St, Bel Air, MD 21014, (across from the Bel Air Bakery) on Saturday, April 6, 2013 from 6-9 pm.

Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door for 15 games of Bingo
UPDATE:  WE ARE SOLD OUT!!!
Extra "cards" will be available to those who have a ticket as well as a 50/50 and probably even some raffles!
This is a family friendly event, bring the kids!
There will be light food and drink for sale during the event as well.
Hope to see you there!

As of now, the event is only listed here, on ChesapeakeMommies, and on Facebook.


Elise's Honor and ChesapekeMommies would like to thank the following companies/individuals, in no particular order, for their donations to our BINGO Fundraiser on April 6.  Be sure to keep checking back as the list will continue to be updated until the event has passed!

Susanne Howard
The Nance Family
Jess Sparwasser
Julie Hauhn
Jennifer Powell
Gerry Outten
Steven Outten 
Luise McCants
Stacy Parlett
Shelly Layfield
Laura Knapp 
Danielle Lowry-Suit
Amanda Johnson
Laura Barcena
Rachel Myers
Sarah Rawlings
Melanie Watson
Julie Foresta 
Judy Churn 
Stephanie Murphy, Island Escapes Therapeutic Massage
Jackie McDonald Tastefully Simple
Stroller Strides of Harford County
Chick Fil A Forest Hill
Chesapeake Children’s Museum  
Sight and Sound Theater
Jan Brett
Highlights Magazine
Bertucci's Italian Restaurant
Aberdeen Ironirds
Historic Ships in Baltimore 
Redbox
Origami Owl with Amanda Johnson
Pinkclyx
Open Door Cafe
Scholastic Books
Ellies Beautiful Bows
The Cheesecake Factory
31 with Rachel Myers
PinkEpromise
Woodhall Wine Cellars
Tracy Parron Photography
Delaware Children’s Museum
Little Huckleberry 
Green Mountain Coffee
Boyle Buick 
31 with Jenn Flory
Chuck E Cheese Bel Air 
Bengies Drive In Theatre 
Forest Hill Lanes
Coffee Coffee
Flavor Cupcakery
My Gym Bel Air
Healthbridge Chiropractic 
Fundamentals  
The Pampered Chef with Colleen Cornacchione 
Pure Romance by Melissa N 
Texas Roadhouse Fallston 
Center Stage 
Pink Zebra with Karen Hildebrandt 
Lil B's Pretties  
Jarrettsville Creamery and Deli
Jamberry Nails with Dani Lynn 
Kiddie Crusoe 
31 with Lisa Yingling 
Bel Air Honda
A3 Studio Kids 
Pampered Chef with Michelle Cissel 
TZ Burps 
Taylor Made Contracting
API Auto Repair
Advanced Eye Care
31 with Stacy Parlett
Massage Envy Bel Air 
Northern Chesapeake Insurance
Ticket Liquidator
Scentsy with Chrystie Crawford-Smick
Linganore Winecellars
Saxons Diamond Centers
Fire and Ice White Marsh Mall
Red Lobster Bel Air
Outback Canton
Bob Bauer, Affinity Mortgage
Schwans 
Sweet Mallowy Love 
Kristian Marie Photography 
Get Hooked 

 

But nothing happened...

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  I broke down and sobbed for the first time in a long time.  But nothing happened.  There wasn't an "event" that took place that reminded me of Elise or that I wish she was here for.  It was a completely normal day, but just out of nowhere, all of a sudden, I couldn't contain myself.  I have been thinking about Elise a lot lately, working on her Birthday Bingo, which I can't believe I haven't written about on here yet...that is now high on my priority list.  I spent the morning doing some things for the Bingo, playing with Ella, catching up on Facebook and so on.  Ella had been sick with a fever (double ear infection it turns out) for the last week and this morning she actually climbed up on my lap and feel asleep at 11:30 am.  I enjoyed the snuggle time for a bit then put her in her bed.  I decided to get online and work some more on the Bingo and goofing off elsewhere.  There was a post from a gal, I have no idea who she is or where she is, I am just a fan of her page offering to do a pencil portrait of loved ones that had passed.   I pulled up Elise's pictures and sent her one.   The thought of having something "new" of Elise is always bittersweet.  I am continually amazed and humbled by the number of people out there who offer to do such things for others.  Often, they have had a loss themselves and can relate in their own way to how I and others long for anything to honor our loved one.  I'm sure looking through her pictures stirred up emotions I didn't realize at the time.  I love seeing her, but at the same time I am sad to only have the same handful of pictures of her.  I'm sad that I can't share her "real" pictures because of how "beat up" she looked.  I'm sad she died.  I'm sad that there are people out there who judge me for how I deal with my grief.  I'm sad there are people out there who can relate to my grief.  But then, I'm happy there are so many out there who support me the best way they know how.  I'm happy I get to write this blog and try to help others who may be feeling the same way.  I'm happy to have my very own angel.  I'm happy to know I will see her again one day.  I'm happy that I have 4 amazing children here on earth with me everyday.  It's quite the conundrum!  Anyway, very seldom does my grief get the best of me, but sometimes it does.  And that's OK.  I am OK with it.  I deal with it and move through it and go on the best way I know how...