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My Sweet Angel

My Sweet Angel
4/6/09 4:45 pm 4 lbs 1 oz 17 inches

Monday, February 11, 2013

Why I blog

I was talking with another mama the other day about why I blog.  Is it for me or for others?  What do I get from it?  What do I hope others get from it?

In my very first post on the blog, I said that I was "creating a written tribute to my sweet angel"  That is how it started, the blogging part anyway.  Before that, came all the Facebook posts though.  Those were more for information.  People wanted to know how Elise died, but who wants to ask someone that?  So I posted it.  That way people didn't have to ask.  Then I shared songs, poems, other pieces of writings others have shared to try to explain how I was feeling.  Every once in a while, I would throw in my own thoughts, but it was mostly words borrowed from others, again, just trying to share what I was going through.
Then I caught up to real time and was able to focus more on my own words.  My words to Elise and about Elise.  My words about me and how I was feeling.  But why?  Why was I doing this?  To journal my thoughts, yes, I needed an outlet to get it all out, everything I was thinking and feeling.  But why not in a notebook or in a Word Document, why online?  In a word, understanding.  My hope was, is, to create understanding among people.  People who have not experienced a loss, what it is like, and people who have to know that someone out there does understand what they are thinking and feeling.
Putting myself out there like this, is a double edged sword.  I have had countless people tell me that my willingness to speak up about my loss has made them more comfortable to also speak up or just deal with their own loss in general.  Then there are those who use my words against me or as an opportunity to twist them to their own advantage.  I have never been anything but honest, with myself and my readers, and I am truly grateful for those who choose to walk this path with me in understanding, whatever their underlying motives are.  I know some do it to support me, some to support themselves and I am humbled by both!  I blog for me and for you.  I get to release my feelings and I get to help others understand.  I get to keep my angel alive, if only through memory!  I wish I was able to do so more regularly and with slightly less trepidation and slightly better mechanics, but it is what it is and I'll take it!  I do it all in Elise's Honor!
Thanks for reading and remembering my Sweet Elise! :)


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